maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
