My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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