Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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