The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
