She's JV to your varsity
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
