Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
