i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
