when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
