Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
