the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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