I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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