New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize