i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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