i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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