i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
