could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
