Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
