Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
