To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He did a backflip because drugs
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
