They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
