Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize