we have officially lost it.
I need help removing her.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
