To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
