I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
