I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
