Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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