he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
