So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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