Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
