you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
