She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
