I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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