If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
foreskin is a definite game changer
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
