You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
