You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize