how do flat chested girls get laid?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
