fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
