you guys were way drunker than both of me
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
worst night to have a conscience
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
