I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Boobs speak an international language.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
