The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
