He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I will pee on everything he values.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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