Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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