I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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