where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
