At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
