Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
