I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize