either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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