I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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