every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
