I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
