You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
