Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
