sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
