Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
