DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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