your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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