Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
