I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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