I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
