I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
