woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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