no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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