I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize