Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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