Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
