We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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