You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
