i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
