my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
