THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
