Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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